PR for Guidos

They’re everywhere.

Heading to your local Tim Horton’s to grab a coffee may mean dodging eight cars you could swear you watched Paul Walker drive in the The Fast and the Furious. Going to the beach anywhere within the Toronto area now means two things: wife beaters and gold chains. Alright, it means three things, because you just saw that car from Tim Horton’s with the flashing neon lights pull into the spot beside you. Then, there’s the club. Affliction shirts, guys wearing unimaginably tight jeans, and the occasional, “Sick belt buckle bro!” uttered from the booth behind you.

They’re guidos, and they’re here to stay.

MTV’s Jersey Shore takes a lot of the credit for bringing the “guido lifestyle” to the forefront of pop culture. But take it from an Italian guy who feels like he knew everyone who appeared on that show. Guidos have been around for longer than you can imagine.

What may confuse you is their original name, used occasionally in the early 90’s and growing in popularity into the new millennium: ginos. These people listened to “dance music” and brought “glow sticks” to all ages clubs in an attempt to... honestly, I have no idea what they were attempting to do.

Yet as they aged, “gino” was a term that just did not seem to fit right. Guidos, like an adult pack of ginos, began their ascent to the top of the tanning, car show, and clubbing lifestyle. Observed in their natural habitat, you can find guidos at your local Extreme Fitness, your neighbourhood tanning booth, or any place that plays “sick beats” past 10 p.m. on a weekend.

As they have grown in popularity, many have taken a bad rap from those who do not understand them. They claim they are a detriment to society, that they have no idea what it is like to contribute, that they have no values. To that I say, leave Pauly D out of this.

In my time on this planet as an Italian man, with a multitude of both Italian and Portuguese friends (as well as a Tim Horton’s next to my old workplace), I have come to know these guidos as people instead of just symbols. And believe it or not, most of them are actually extremely likeable. Yes, they love their beats, their tans, their guns (biceps? there’s no English to Guido dictionary out yet). They show off their cars, shitty or not, because they’re proud that they’re no longer riding the bus. But I’ve had guidos help me jump start my car (they’re great with cars), guidos show me new workout plans (pretty much only curls and situps), and guidos teach me the importance of family (guidos, of every culture, have a close bond with their families). If a guido says he will help you with something, he’s going to help you with it (shout out to Fat Tony for my new hair gel).

In time, many of these guidos became my friends. And the more I came to know them, the more one thing became increasingly clear: guidos are misunderstood.

Sitting with a good friend of mine, as well as one of the pre-eminent guidos of our time, we had a heart to heart one night (sitting in his sick ’98 Saab, with a “sick system bro”). He explained to me that he loved everything about being a guido. What he didn’t love is that people did not understand.

As a future Public Relations specialist, I told him that maybe there was a way we could fix this problem, to take his image and translate it into words that those who have not lived their life by the G-T-L code (gym, tan, laundry) could understand. I asked him his views on life’s different matters, then attempted to put down in writing what he truly meant (in essence, alter his key messaging). Then, I promised to share it with the world.

His name is Pasquale Guida (seriously). This is what he had to say.

On Women:

Pasquale: “There are two types of women. Good girls and hooches, and as much as everyone wants a good girl us dudes want hooches too. I don’t have any keys to getting women though, women have keys to getting me!”

PR Reworking: “There are many types of ladies out there. Some are more willing to settle down and start a family, others are more looking to have fun and enjoy their youth. I love all women, be they serious about commited relationships or otherwise. I don’t really have a plan when it comes to meeting the right women. I try to leave it in their hands and if they like me, great. Let’s pursue something.”

On Social Situations:

Pasquale: “Whenever I go out, I’m always rocking a pair of fresh white sneakers, cuffed name-brand jeans, a v-neck of course, and a hat. Oh and about five pounds of gold too. I wear what I wear ‘cuz it goes well with how my attitude is and ladies are for sure gonna’ dig it, whether I’m just hanging out, or fist-pumping and beating the beat up at a club.”

PR Reworking: “I always try to look nice when I leave the house. I think a lot of people can tell how classy a man is by the way that he dresses. I tend to wear a bit of jewellery as well, since it has always kind of been my signature look. I like feeling like myself when I go out, whether it be having a relaxing dinner with some old friends or out celebrating a party downtown. I think women also like it when you just dress and act like yourself.”

On Changing the World:

Pasquale: “I’d make everyone Italian.” (laughs). “I’m only kidding, but I would make everyone a lot friendlier you know so everyone would just get along. It would make it easier for guys to talk to girls too, not that I have that problem.”

PR Reworking: “I’d make everyone Italian. I’m only kidding, but I would make everyone a lot friendlier you know so everyone would just get along. It would make it easier for guys to talk to girls too.” not that I have that problem.”

On What Makes Guidos so Great:

Pasquale: “Dude, are you serious with that question? What makes us great? Our style, attitude and lifestyle. We’re not scared of any situation and we’re always the life of the party. For all the guidz out there, keep giving us a good name out there and leave some girls for the rest of the guys. And keep fist pumping!”

PR Reworking: “We just try to make the most out of any situation, and turn negatives into positives. I love and respect my fellow guidos and I ask you all to continue bringing our positive message to society! Also, don’t engage in romantic activity with women in loving relationships!”

So next time you hear a young man’s car pulling up beside you at a light from 10 kilometres away, or have to wait in line at a tanning booth while the receptionist de-gels the machines, remember: guidos have hearts too. You just have to dig a little behind the gold necklaces to find them.